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" Don't be. There would have been issues, perhaps. We are happy and that's what is important." We went inside to the ladies who were finishing the other preparations and sitting at the table talking. Dad said, "The steaks are grilling nicely. Have you accomplished anything so we have something to go with it?"He was roundly booed. I kept my mouth shut. When two women get along, their husbands not only don't constitute an equal vote, they don't even represent a sizable minority! I went back out and turned the steaks. I went back inside to be greeted by my wife with a kiss and a glass of red wine. The wine was good and the kiss was better. After another good sip later, I retrieved the steaks and brought the platter inside. The table was set and we had a salad of Pat's strange, mixed greens with mashed potatoes that Heather had doctored. It was a great meal and a happy time. Less than a week later, it was our pleasure to proudly confirm Heather and Dad as a married couple at the EHG. It completely pole-axed me, leaving me breathless. And, as if they had a mind of their own, my eyes tipped tears of sadness over my book.I hid my face with my hair so no-one would see me so upset. Finally, to my relief, the class was over and I picked up my bag and ran from the room, desperate to get home so I could grieve privately.At home, I was relieved that Jermaine was out. We’d moved into a realm where we cried privately and went about doing our own thing. We didn’t cry in front of each other: somehow sharing our tears would have made the whole nightmare even more unbearable.Having undressed, I put on my bathrobe before flopping onto my bed where I sobbed into the pillow until there were no more tears left. It felt like sand had replaced moisture in my ducts. Grief is exhausting, and crying always made me tired as well as providing the mother of all headaches.I fell asleep at some point, sheer exhaustion overtaking me. My mind shut off, like a window blind being pulled down to.
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